Why I Wanted to Make More Friends
July 20th, 2010I used to be a hardcore introvert and I still possess some introvertial characteristics to this day. I was nervous around people and my heart would pound rapidly every time I say something and an entire group of people set their eyes on me. I was shy. During friends’ outings I would be the quite one in the group nurturing my food & drinks without saying a word, and silently wonder why did I even accept this invitation to come here. Deep down I didn’t believe in friendships and needless to say, I was lonely.
My introvertial characteristics were the results of a set of philosophical values that I subconciously form when I was growing up. I believed one should dedicate her time entirely to her career success and pursuit of ultimate freedom, happiness & wealth; Hanging out with people and do things was a waste of time in my opinion, which was too extreme and twisted now that I think about it. After experiencing countless times of unexplained frustration, anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts, I had come to the conclusion that I was too lonely to live a normal life, and I needed to change.

